This week I would like to rant a bit about schooling. Now, don't get me wrong... I know school is good and wisdom-enhancing and important. I think about Greg Mortensson from "Three Cups of Tea" fame and I realize the importance of education in the world. We truly are blessed in America to have a culture where school is a by-product, an after-thought, a mundane part of life that is considered a right of each and every child. We don't need to fight for our child to have an education. We don't need to build a school on a mountainside. The mountainside is already levelled and the school is sharing space with a laundromat, a dry-cleaner, and two drug stores. School is simply a part of growing up.
Yet, I wonder at the evolution of our education system and its viability to today's world and to today's children. I starting thinking about this issue yesterday, at work. You see, after finding a book on Scotland for a tired mother, I was hijacked for about thirty minutes as she vented her dissatisfaction with her son's schooling. In seventh grade, at the age of twelve, he has, on average, two hours of homework a night. Sometimes, when big projects are due, he has three or more hours of homework, which bleeds over into the weekend hours. If you consider a three hour homework weekday and add it to a traditional school day (6 hours of schooling, an hour of busing), her son works a total of 10 hours a day. Ten hours a day! And he's twelve. When I asked the mother when her son gets to relax, she laughed cynically. "Relax? He never gets to relax."
Now on to mother number two. This mother has a son in the eighth grade, so he is thirteen. At thirteen, his English teacher is requiring the class to read Barack Obama's book " Dreams from my Father," which is an adult book. Perhaps you've never read it but it deals with one man's struggle with race in a family of mixed-origins and in an culture of hidden agendas. It is a good book. It probes ideas that are rarely brought to the surface in an America that likes to pretend that all lives and all people are equal. It really makes you stand up and consider where your prejudices lie and from whence they spring. It is a good book. For an adult. At thirteen, this book delves into topics that are so far from teenage reality as to be laughable. Not only that, there are numerous swears in the book when President Obama recalls incidents from his turbulent past. Now at thirteen, I know that kids use swears but do we want to be promoting them in classroom literature? A random "damn" certainly is not the end of the world but "motherfucker?" I got to draw the line there.
What are these two random, real-life stories telling us? In my mind, they indicate the (what I like to call) "adultification" of children in America. American adults work-hard, play-hard, and jam every spare moment of time with "stuff." We play with our stuff via video games and computer chat rooms. We run around and buy more stuff to clutter up our living rooms and home offices. And we chat via twitter and text and (ohmigosh, how retro) cell phone while we do all this stuff with our stuff. We send our children to day-care so we can make money to buy stuff. Then, on the weekends, we shuttle them around to playgrounds and playgroups and random team activities so we can be with our stuff, electronically-connected, emotionally-devoid. This way, we don't really need to "be" with our kids, just next to them. Parallel play.
Education in America is simply indulging our desire for little, mini adults that we can drop-off with the babysitter or in front of the TV while we run around in ever-tightening circles. Let's get off this ridiculous merry-go-round! How happy are we? How emotionally open can we be hard-wired to complete strangers? We tell our kids, "Let me check my e-mail," "Let me get this one phone call," "Let me work out the babysitting schedule." And where are the kids? Sitting on the floor, listlessly playing Barbies or Matchbox cars. Waiting. Waiting for us. Because the needs and wants of children have not changed in the millennia that humans have walked the planet. They want love. They want to have fun. They want to run and jump and explore. And they want to do it with someone. Not a virtual friend or a virtual pet in a virtual world. They want to do it with us.
Let's stop trying to force adulthood onto our children. It certainly hasn't made us happy. Instead, let's focus on the "childification" of adults. Let's remember the simple joys of jumping in a leaf pile or rolling down a grassy hill. Unplug people and feel the freedom of the world around you. Unplug and feel the joy of ife!
Once we do that, the school systems will stop trying to "adultify" our children. They will halt the hours of homework and the adult-book reading lists and the stress-inducing tests. For if we embrace our own children, we won't need them to be mini adults any more. We will allow them the pleasure of reading "Tom Sawyer" instead of "Dreams of my Father." We will give them the opportunity to run and play instead of sit and sweat over homework. Our values will have changed and, thus, the education system will follow our lead. Many parents feel disenfranchised in the political structure of the school system. In reality, we hold all the power. It will take time for the "childification" of American adults to permeate the culture. In the meantime, stand up for what you believe in. Voice your concerns. Not just once but over and over and over again until your voice is heard. This is your child. You have the right, indeed, the responsibility, to look out for him or her. Teachers and principals exude an air of authority but they're just people. You are your child's best advocate. Don't give up and don't give in. Your child deserves a childhood.
