Meditation ~ Numero tres

So, this week, in an effort to mix things up and... once again... try something new, I performed a twenty minute Tai (Thai) Chi series that I found on my onDemand channel. The twenty minute segment is meant to be perfromed in the morning, to bring in good, fresh chi and remove blocked, stagnant chi. (Chi, in this case, being the Chinese word for their concept of energy in your body and in the universe.) I am totally digging this Tai Chi moving meditation. It is really very relaxing. It also doesn't hurt that it is filmed on a beautiful ocean beach (scenery for which I am a major sucker) and performed and narrated by a hunky older man (another type of scenery for which I am a sucker). *wink*

But, seriously, the two times I have tried Tai Chi (via video), the narrators have been male. And, in and around the South Shore of Massachusetts, the instructors of Tai Chi are almost universally male. I find this interesting and I wonder why men seem to flock to Tai Chi. Perhaps it is the martial arts connection but I find Tai Chi to be as relaxing as yoga. Sometimes more so because of the focus on energy and the different positions of the hands and feet. I was pleasantly surprised that one of the hand positions I use in energy work (using two hands and forming a triangle between thumb and forefingers) is the common position used in Tai Chi to move energy into and out of the body.

Anyway, I encourage you to try Tai Chi if you haven't before. It is really quite wonderful!

Mother

We spend so much time emulating the Mother Goddess, espousing her wisdom, her serenity, her innate femininity. We see the epitome of her on television, in the tabloids, slapped on billboards as far as the eye can see. Nursing mothers, playing mothers, mothers watching Sprout with their toddlers, mothers dancing to Barney tunes. On Amazon, we read the blurbs of mothers who love "Bear in the Big Blue House" as much as their little ones, who sing the praises of "Baby Einstein," who want to cuddle with soft blankie books. Mothers in magazines play Candyland and ball toss and Dora Bingo and we say to ourselves, "What great mothers! Look at all they give to their children." We smile and nod and thank the divine that our next generation will be sane and caring and considerate. In short, we buy into this notion of mother as giver and care-taker.

But what about the mothers? Taught to put aside their own needs, thoughts, ideas, and (heaven forbid!) wants, what happens to the mothers when the babies grow up, go off to school, no longer spend every waking moment at their sides? What happens to them when their children make new friends, participate in soccer, drama, ballet, or tennis? As they sit on the sidelines, cheering on the accomplishments of their children, beaming with pride at every goal, pirouette, and ace serve, how do they disentangle themselves from the routines and rituals of their children and re-gain their own perspective, their own goals, their own selves? How do they find their own truth?

I suppose, for some mothers, this isn't an issue. They've worked throughout their care-taking days and so are unaffected by the abrupt change in lifestyle. (And, don't kid yourself, it is abrupt.) Part-time or full-time, they've been working toward personal goals and, so, with their child pulling away into his or her own self-contained universe, they've suddenly got the room to pursue the things they may (or may not) have been putting off. Good for them! I say, go for it girl!

But for me, and I suspect lots of other mothers, I feel as though a part of myself has been summerarily ripped off, leaving a raw, gaping wound. And everyday (everyday!) salt is rubbed in until it hurts so much I just want to rip everything else off in an effort to stop the pain. I want to kill, maim, destroy. I am mad. Not peeved. Not aggravated. Not upset and angry. I am stark, raving mad at the entire situation. Not pretty, not pleasant... but there it is. Medical doctors talk about post-partum depression and Brook Shields made it famous but I think post-caretaker depression is as debilitating. (Maybe it's not a clinical depression but it should be!)

Now I understand why women have another baby just as their first child is boarding the bus for school. Now I realize the personal power behind schooling your wee ones in the comfort of your own home. It's the need to continue the mothering process that has been schooled into us, as women, from a very young age. The need to nurture and care and nourish is overwhelming and, now, no longer necessary. Move on, Mama, the kids got their own lives. You need to get one too.

But how does one do that? Get a life. How does one know what to do, where to turn, what hobby or job to pick up when one can't get off the sofa? When a movie with The Rock in it becomes the sole focus of the afternoon? When every resume is met with a deafening silence? You look in the mirror with your baggy, 6-year-old clothes and your unwashed, tangled mop-like hair-do and your dull, unfocused eyes and you ask, "Who are you? Who are you now?!" And there is no answer because you are all alone.

Faery Reiki and Other unusual energy systems

Soooooo, in an effort to restabilize my emotionality (it is a word...now), I have begun looking at different healing modalities that resonate with me. Last summer I was attuned to the first level of Shamballa Multi-dimentional healing, which I love a TON! My goal is to receive all four attunements and achieve teacher-master-healer level within the year. I think it is do-able! But, in the meantime, I happened to stumble across a few other forms of Reiki that seem to be connected to my Otherworld kin ~ Faeries!

I am wondering if anyone else has heard about these forms of healing and, if so, what kind of experience you've had with them. They are all relatively new, so I'm trying to find out about them.

There are ~ Faery Ray-kay; Faery Reiki; Fairy Realms Reiki; Energy and Magic of the Faeries; Unicorn Reiki; and Elven Shamanic Healing. Any and all info you've got would be appreciated.

Daily Meditation part deux

I have pledged to meditate on a daily basis for a month to see how it goes. So far, I have meditated for two weeks... missing, maybe, two or three days. I'm pleased with my progress so far but not 100% satisfied with the experience. I mean... it's fine and it allows me 15 or 20 minutes to sit and stretch and turn off my brain. Most of the time, I feel better afterwards. But I feel like there is so much I need to do! And the time just keeps slipping away.

And, of course, most of the problem stems from my confusion over what exactly needs to be done. UGH.

I think I'll go drink some tea. At least I know how to do that!

Olives, olives!

I have decided to take the info from the previous month and upload it to my Blog. That way, people can go back and read it if they're interested! Here is September's rant!

I love olives. I eat them any time of the day. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could live on nothing but olives... all day, every day. I've heard that in Turkey and Greece that "no meal is complete without olives." I agree with that. Green olives, black olives, olives in oil, olives from a can, olives in a dish, olives by themselves... seriously... I have an olive addiction.

So I started thinking about what olives symbolize in the world at large. There's the whole idea that olives represent prosperity and well-being. From my church-going days, I remember Psalm 128:3, "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine inside your house; Your children will be like young olive trees around your table." I probably remember that because the psalm actually mentions kids in a positive note. And... well... it talks about olives. Even then I had a healthy obsession with the fruit. But the olive trees in the psalm represent an abundant harvest, a good yield, a fertile farm which easily provides for the family. Olives, then, are the food which lightens the load, growing well and thriving over time.

Yet, they also are the food of the fabled "olive branch," which symbolizes peace. When the olive branch is offered in the midst of argument or war, the fighting ceases. Silence ensues. And opposing sides meet to discuss terms of withdrawal and the end of hostilities. One little branch, one small fruit, and yet it has the possibility of bringing so much happiness and contentment to all. If only it is given the chance.

Many times we forget about our own possibilities. We lock-step ourselves into our current lives without taking a moment to look around at our own unique skills. A lot of times these skills and possibilties are never explored. We are told that we "can not possibly" do any number of things that seem right and perfect to us. We can't create magic because it's make-believe. We can't sail on the open seas because we don't have a boat. We can't defeat our worst nightmare because it's always been there. We can't do... well, whatever it is we want to do... because we're small, big, old, young, a boy, a girl... fill in the excuse of the day.

In the end, the excuses don't matter. They are simply shields behind which we are hidden, by others and by ourselves. The simple olive does not hide. It thrives in the sun, reaching toward the life-giving rays. Our lives can be like that, forever reaching upward and out to bask in the sun of our own possibilities, forever growing and expanding into the reality of our own marvelous skin. Like the olive, we can forever change the world, enjoy the world, explore the world and ourselves, if we but try. And believe.

Daily meditation, part 1

I am enjoying my daily meditation more and more. At first, I had to really force myself to sit down and meditate. And then I realized that I didn't need to just sit down! Major revelation! Instead, I am doing kinesthetic meditation, which is similar to yoga or running or trance dancing or anythng that gets you into your body and moving while allowing your brain to fly free, removing stress and tension. My kinesthetic meditations are almost like yogic asanas but I customize them for the specific aches and pains of that day. After today's meditation, I was reminded of my 7-Pointed Star meditation that I created a few years ago. I think I will include that in tomorrow's session!

I hope the rest of you are enjoying your daily meditation practice!